Am I taking the piss? Have I finally lost the plot?

How can a man attract women by watching Californication, Boston Legal and House?

To attract women, a man needs to go out in the field, and ‘sarge’, right?

Well, maybe – that could be part of the equation, but hear me out for a moment.

I’m not taking the piss. And I lost the plot a long time ago. So, nothing new there.

But I’m dead serious when I say watching TV can help you attract women.

Or, at the very least, it will help you where you’re going wrong in attracting women.

Let me explain.

Remember Lew Ashby and Hank Moody from Californication, who attract women everywhere they go?

Remember Alan Shore from Boston Legal, who attracts and dates some of the most certifiable hotties on set?

And House, who, despite his self-loathing, has the wrath and yet the attention of his lovely subordinate…

Some might argue that these characters are all made-up fantasy, and therefore their success at attracting women is irrelevant.

Such people would miss the point completely. So, let’s explore this deeper and see what we can find.

Let’s ask ourselves, why do those characters attract women?

And I’m not interested in those surface, seduction community pickup artist-type answers, like “because they OWN their frame” and “because their direct game is so tight”.

Sure, they do own their frame. And their so-called direct *IS* tight. But why??

I don’t think the scriptwriters of those shows were influenced by seduction community literature when they were creating those characters.

So, what were they influenced by? Why are those characters so enigmatic? So congruent? So attractive, and yet imperfect?

Why do these men attract women DESPITE their imperfections?

Don’t know about you, but one thing that draws me in about those characters is that they are UNASHAMEDLY THEMSELVES.

They make no apologies for being themselves. They don’t dilute their sense of self in the face of social convention or for the sake of pleasantries.

It’s as if they’re coming from a central sense of SELF; a self that is deeply and intimately known to them.

A self that projects outwards and, as Jonno would say, penetrates the world everywhere they go.

They live life on their own terms. According to their own principles. With zero concern of what others think of their version of SELF.

Not because they don’t respect other people, but because they realise that what others think of their SELF is other people’s journeys.

Not theirs..

And when I say “zero concern for what others think”, I don’t mean it in a way which some people do it – like,

“I’m going to show everyone how much I don’t care about their opinion”, so they act rebellious or intentionally self-destructive.

That version of “zero concern for what others think” is just a deep desire for approval in masquerade.

No, when I say “zero concern for what others think”, I mean being so deeply caught up in following YOUR desires – because they are of importance to you – that what others think doesn’t even register on the radar.

Living your desires. Every moment of your life. Letting others live theirs. Every moment of their life.

Becoming a unique expression of self, loving it, and not apologizing for it.

We watch those characters on screen for their colour, for their humour, for their attractiveness – which all come from their unique sense of self…

We watch them as works of fiction, being led to believe that being as colourful, funny and attractive is a condition that’s reserved for characters of fiction, or rock stars, or famous writers..

And in doing so, we forget that the only difference between us and them is that, unlike them, we often don’t give ourselves the permission to be SELF.